Spinach and Super Powers

It's amazing to what depths you find yourself falling in the futile quest to get anything with chlorophyl down your child's mouth. Tonight I find myself participating in this dialog:

Me: "Eli, have you ever heard of Popeye?"

Eli: "poop-eye?"

Me: "No, Popeye. He's a sailor."

Eli: "Poop-eye? What kind of sailor is Poop-eye?"

Me: "Popeye is a good guy, and you know what? He's got super powers."

Eli: "What kind of super powers?"

Me: "Popeye gets super powers from eating spinach. It makes him strong so he can beat up the bad guys. I love spinach and it gave me super powers too!"

Eli: "What kind of super powers?"

Me: "I'm super smart! But you don't know what powers you get until you try it."

Eli: "Spinach gives you super powers?! How?"

Me: "Well, there's special stuff in spinach called vitamins and minerals that give you super powers. Spinach has calcium which gives you strong bones..."

Eli: "strong bones?!"

Me: "yeah! and it has iron in it which gives you strong blood, and makes you not get tired as easily. And it has vitamin A to give you super vision!"

Eli: "What's super mean?"

Me: [pause] "Super means much more than normal"

Eli: "What's a power?"

Me: "A power is the ability to do something."

Eli: "What's a super power?"

Me: "It's the ability to do something way better than other people"

Eli: "What super power does spinach give you?"

Me: "You can't tell until you try."

Eli: "Will it make me fast?"

Me: [pause] "Yeah, sure" (at this point, I know I'm so going to hell)

Eli: "Okay. I'll try it."

Me: "Great!"

Eli: "Will it make me fast like a Cheetah?"

Me: "You can never tell."

Eli: "Faster than Dash?"

Me: "Try it and find out" (I AM SO GOING TO HELL!)

Eli tries it a bit, and doesn't spit it out, but he's wondering when the powers kick in....

Eli: "Am I fast?"

Me: "You might need more than a little bite."

Eli takes another small bite.

Me: "Try a bigger bite"

Eli takes a large bite, but he kinda gags on it and spits it out.

Me: "That's cool, at least you tried it."

Eli: "Am I fast now?"

Me: "Well, go give it a try!"

At this point, Eli starts to run around the house pretty fast, and of course I give him the kudos he's desiring...

Me: "I think you are a bit faster. I guess you'll just have to try it later in the future to get even faster!"

Yes, I totally manipulated my son into eating spinach, and it worked... this time. He only had two very small bites, but it's a start, and I'm so proud of him for giving it a shot. If you ask me, he did get super powers -- the powers of super cuteness. I hope he forgives me in therapy twenty years from now.