Things that only a parent would find themselves saying

(1) "On the paper." "On the paper." "On the paper." "ONLY ON THE PAPER!!!!!!!!!!"

(2) "Daddy, I was Tinkerbell once, and I flew all over in the sky. Were you Peter Pan?" "Yes, I was." "Were you Peter Pan because he has a penis?" "Yes. Yes, I was."

(3) "That is inappropriate behavior." Man, could I sound older? Ug.

Dammit, you beat me to it. :) And did you ever think you'd find yourself combining those nouns in the same sentence? Life's a funny thing, I tell you.