November 2006 Archives

Last night's concert was freakin' incredible.

If you ignore the opener, Neil Hamburger, who was pretty much a waste of space (and yes I realize he's an invention and is an avant-guarde intellectual joke, but it was so bad it was boring), the beginning of the show opened up with a curtain on a mock living room, with Kyle and Jack asleep on the couch, under a Transformers comforter, a poster of Dio's Holy Diver album displayed proudly on the wall, an old white fridge and tv with vcr complete the scene. The audience wakes up the Tenacious duo, and they rise to start rocking. The entire show proceeded much like a SNL skit, or extended music video, creating a quirky and humorous rock opera right on stage. The basic narrative charted the day of the D, complete with visitor and friend Lee, and the fatal use of an electric guitar made of a toilet seat and extension cord, clearly assembled by a crack head that sends Kyle and Jack to hell, where after they orient themselves form a rock band with the Antichrist on lead electric guitar, Charlie Chaplain on bass, and Colonel Sanders on drums. At this point the stage begins to rock in a way the D have not done up until now during their concerts. They have a series of serious metal standards, dance while high on shrooms with a giant magic mushroom, and finally have a rock duel with Satan himself.

The musical tunes were awesome, and on more than one occasion, the duo payed homage to classic rock tunes, such as Flash Gordon by Queen, Fame by Bowie, and Pinball Wizard / Tommy by The Who. There is no doubt that the concert is to be seen as a rock opera in and of itself, with echoing tones of Jesus Christ Super Star and Stairway to Heaven to be found in the music and themes. From hippy balads to death metal, the D put on a tremendous show, and for Jack Black or Tenacious D concerts, this was one not to miss.

Tonight we're going out to the Tenacious D concert-- I'll tell you all about my evening tomorrow...

I know when I've been licked. And not in the good way.

It's day 20, I've only got about 6000 words written, and I just don't see myself catching up, for a number of reasons:

1) There's a whole lot of vacation coming up where I'll have to be spending time with family and kids and I won't have writing time.

2) Right now I'm sick as a dog, and I'm doing the best I can just to survive all the other crazy commitments I've got going on.

3) Truth is -- I'm just not into the story right now.

So I'll shelve it for now, and get back to it later. I just can't work on it right now. I've got another story that wants to be written, and I'll probably take a stab at that first. But right now, I'm just gonna try to get well and survive.

Tonight we have Matt and Kelley over for dinner, to give us a chance to hang out and meet 'the girl', and while she seemed a little quiet, I think it went well. I know making friends is always a tough thing to do, especially when you're the one entering into an established group, and I was doing my best to be low-key and not ask too many questions, etc., until we know each other better. Of course, part of me is sensitive and wonders if she liked us, but that will all come in time. And just because she likes Matt, doesn't mean she's gonna like us - so be it. Of course we all hope that we get along. Oh, it's like being in school again, making friends. It's funny, but I guess I've had my current set of friends for so long, it's been a while since I've had to make a new one. Anyhow, we had a good time. I opened a few good bottles of wine, and I served my signature Anthony Bordain Chicken Calvados dish, which is way fatty but mmm-mmm so good. Matt and Kelley hung out for a while, and we tried to come up with topics of conversation that didn't involve our kids- I always feel self-conscious about talking about my kids with friends that don't have any, but seriously they're the biggest thing in our lives right now, so it's hard not to talk about them. Matt and Kelley finally took off around 10pm, and left us to the rest of our evening. I'm certain Matt will give me the full report later on how the evening went from his/her perspective. I know that I wasn't left with much of an idea of who she is, just that she was quiet and nice. Well, there are future gatherings and future times to hang out.

Tonight we had our good friends Amy and Marc over for Shabbat dinner, and it was a fantastic time. We've made it somewhat of a tradition to invite certain folk over on Shabbat to share the space with us, and Amy & Marc are favorites. Every visit there is the requisite negotiations over the chicken wings and drumsticks between Marc and Eli, and the evening always entails engaging and stimulating conversation. Some friends take a fair amount of work to maintain, and some are just easy. Marc and Amy are easy friends, who we don't see nearly enough of, but when we do get together it's as if we've never spent any time apart. They are a blessing.

I went in today to the dentist for my regular cleaning, and they've discovered several spots in my molars that need to be filled, but on one side in the back they're going to have to give me a crown of some sort. I've lived my entire life with practically no cavities, and I've never had to have dental work done that required numbing other than my root canal on my front tooth when I was 15, but that was while my mouth was already in trauma (someone forearmed me in the mouth in PE, causing me to bite through my lip and knocked my front tooth loose).

This is gonna suck. Now I get to experience what everyone else experiences with the dentist, with crazy shit digging into my mouth and holding it open with clamps and stretching my lips wide, etc. etc. *sigh*. Well, I guess I should count myself lucky that I've gone 34 years without having to deal with that sort of work, and hopefully this is all to prevent worse consequences later, right?

Sometime last year I read something about the Japanese figuring out a way to regrow teeth with ultraviolet light pulses. Sign me up for that one. Just pull the tooth and let's make a new one. Oh yeah, that's still experimental science, isn't it?

A week from Tuesday the do the deed.

November 15th, and I've got just over 5100 words. Not sure I'm gonna make 50k words by the end of the month. I'll have to write 3k a day. Well, let's not give up hope yet...

...just sleep!

Tonight there was a surprise impromptu birthday celebration at my house for my good friend Mark, whom I've known for 24 years. Happy birthday, my brother. I hope you had a good time, because I know everyone else did.

Tonight, Allean Dathsar, a rebel alliance operative trained in the ways of the force and in deep deep cover walked the underbelly of Coruscant in the age of the Empire, did battle with foul and unclean monsters and works to save his friends during their mission to retrieve data critical to the survival of the alliance, while knowing fully that the Emperor has become aware of his presence on the planet, and can be assumed to be tracking him down with his dark-side agents.

Totally awesome.

The activity of being able to inhabit another personality for a few hours in an evening and work within an imaginary world towards goals and rewards one could not expect to see in this lifetime is truly a gift. It feeds my soul, and keeps me young. That, and it allows me to exercise parts of my psyche that normally has to hide deep beneath repression, and allows me to struggle with moral ambiguities in ways I dare not in my everyday life. I learn to be a better person by being other people in other situations. It builds empathy as well as building life skills.

Nothing exciting here -- Julie is back from her art weekend, and I'm up watching my last bits of media before the new week. Did quite a bit of reading as well. Probably should get to bed now, so I'm gonna wrap up. Talk to you all tomorrow, maybe I'll even have something to say.

Hey everyone,

Just putting the blog post in brief again, since the day has slipped away from me once again. Ian and Lisa came over, hung out, and watched bad films with me. We had a great time. Now it's time for bed.

Hey everyone, it's Friday, and about time to light candles, break bread and have some family time. Talk to you all more tomorrow.

I'm heading into SF to spend time with Serena, and I'll be back after the dreaded date line, so I'm posting my quick little 'ping' to keep me on the scoreboard for NaBloPoMo, and with a promise to write something more interesting soon.

Hasta la vista, baby!

The news of Rumsfeld getting the boot, I mean... resigning... was a breath of fresh air in an otherwise stanky administration. We got the house, yes, and we probably also got the senate, but the Dems also promised they wouldn't impeach the president, which I think is a horrible concession for winning, since this administration more than any other in recent history has been guilty of such major corruption. Oh well, perhaps we'll still get some accountability along the way. I think the stage is set for an interesting two years that either will go very well, or will peter along in the same way it has been for the last six. It all depends on the new leadership and what they choose to press for, and what they choose to concede.

That's it, I'm tired, it's late again. Time for bed.

I stayed up late to find out results on elections and local measures, and all I got was a handful of disappointments and inconclusive results. Looks like the train didn't pass. I bet a better concentrated advertising campaign would have helped. Oh well, I knew it was a pipe dream. That, and the energy bill that really should have passed, looks like it probably won't.

I'm starting to feel guilty that I didn't join one of these phone parties and called up everyone in the known universe to bug the shit out of them to go vote and to vote with real information. But everyone knows that we avoid those phone calls like the plague, and we never listen to the pre-recorded ones. I just delete them.

I guess I should be happy with the probable win of the house. I was hoping for the house + senate, but I don't see that happening at this point. I still have my skepticism around the validity of the vote, but that problem will likely never be addressed, or not until the Repubs rake us over the coals in the 2008 election... again.

Feh. I need to let go of this and move on with my life. I am so disappointed on the the train measure.

So I finally buckled down tonight and reviewed the issues one last time and pretty much I just want it all to be over and hopefully we'll win a Democratic victory in congress, but we just won't know until after all the Diebolt machines come in and the hackers have fixed the vote, but it'd be nice if a few things pass. Of course I've voted almost all Democratic except in the case of Bustomante, who I never liked and so I'm voting for Poizner instead. But the candidates are boring. Most of the measures I'm kinda bored with too, but for the record:

1A - Yes

1B - No

1C - No

1D - Yes

1E - No

83 - No (this is not a well-written or well-thought-out bill)

84 - Yes

85 - No (dude, I can't even imagine the damage this would do if it passes)

86 - Yes (sorry, smokers, but you know it's killing you)

87 - YES (we need to set an example for the nation)

88 - No (good motivation, bad bill)

89 - Yes (we need all the reform we can get)

90 - No (as much as I'd like to support fairness, this damages the ability to protect open space)

The one that I really REALLY want to pass is R for the SMART train between Larkspur and Cloverdale. The north bay needs a traffic solution, and the train is the right plan. Unfortunately, it's not popular with Marin voters, but it's a well thought-out plan, and could solve a lot of our problems in a short time span.

yeah. voting. bleargh. I just don't trust the process, so it's hard for me to get overly excited.

So, I've been on this internal path / struggle / dialog around my relationship to the Jewish tradition, and what I want to make of that relationship for quite some time now (years, really), and without going into a great deal of detail right now (because I am too tired to list all of my reasons and reasonings), I've come to the solid conclusion that I will be converting to Judaism at some point in my near future. What is the key of this decision is a realization that I pretty much think and act like a Jew already, and converting is not a proclamation of any particular set of beliefs that I have or commit to holding to, as much as it is a commitment to walking a particular path of exploration; one that is traditionally skeptical, dialectic in nature, exploratory, focused on education and reason, as well as opening to the mysteries of life with an open mind and heart. It's a path that provides me with the intellectual integrity I demand, and the spiritual openness that I yearn for. And it feeds my personal desire for ritual in some very powerful ways.

So there it is. It's a long process that I'm in the very beginnings of, and reserve the right to change my mind at any point in the future, but the more I think on it and learn and read and contemplate, the more and more natural it all seems to me. So before I even broach this with my family (and other than my sister and brother-in-law, no one reads my blog in my family) or friends (well, this is my coming out to my friends, so HA!) I'm coming out to the internet. This is part of me practicing saying it out loud. At some time in the indeterminate but near future, I will be a Jew.

What's particular important to point out here, is that I come to this decision completely on my own volition and with absolutely no pressure from any other person in my life. It's true that I wouldn't be considering becoming a Jew if I had never met my wife, but it's not her decision or motivations that brings me to this point. To steal someone else's poetic sentiments, first I fell in love with one Jew, and through that Jew I have fallen in love with all Jews.

If you're interested in my particular reasons and observations, I am more than willing to share them with you in excruciating detail, but not right now, as my mind is not equipped at the moment to write the 30 page essay that would be required to tell you why I am making this decision. All you need to know is that it makes sense, and anyone that knows me and knows what it is to be a Jew would agree.

So where do I go from here? I study, I spend time with the idea, I meditate, and eventually I do some rituals and then I'm part of the tribe. Somewhere in the soon-ish time frame I broach the subject with my parents and family, so they aren't totally taken by surprise. I expect some hard times over it, especially from my mom. All I can say is this is not about them, and not an indication that I'm trying to separate from my family in any way. It's an identity that I'll be gaining, not an identity I'll be losing. It's a significant shift, but one that will leave me essentially the same person I am today, but just with a better label. When someone asks me what my religion is, I'll have an answer, instead of 'I'm a philosopher'. I'm joining a tribe of philosophers and deep thinkers, those whose tribal name and very home, Israel, means 'to struggle with God'.

I think I've leaked some information to my blog entries about this in the past, but I do believe this is the first time I've come right out and said my intentions with such positive conviction. I've only really come around to realizing my intentions myself over the last month or so, but especially in the last few weeks. Again, this process takes a year or more, and is something not done idly or impulsively. I'll keep you all posted.

Although my father's birthday is actually Sunday, we invited him and mom and my sister and brother-in-law over tonight for a family celebration. I splurged and bought a prime rib roast, and we had lots of wine and beer and decadent chocolate cake -- it was indulgence. My father had a great time, talking cars with Quinn, and generally soaking in the love of his kids and greater family. He didn't spend as much time engaging with his grandkids as I would have hoped, and Eli felt a particular pang of being ignored tonight -- poor kid. I wanted to tell him that his bobba didn't really pay all that much attention to me when I was his age either so don't feel that bad -- he just doesn't get kids. Ah well, maybe next time he'll connect more.

Anyhow, it's late, and I want to get some sleep. See you all tomorrow.

Tonight is Shabbat, and I don't have a lot to say. Just putting in my 'ping' for the blog. More tomorrow.

Hello everyone,

So report from the trenches -- Last night I ran a D&D game and came home to watch Lost, putting me in bed at 2 am. I woke up at 6:45 and while I managed to get my morning pages done for Artist's Way, I missed my writing window. Tonight I ran my other D&D game, so I'm just sitting down to the computer at 11:15 pm. Right now I'm blogging, so I'll have my NaBloPoMo requirements in. Perhaps after this post I'll get another few pages of the story done -- it's a sci-fi story (big surprise), and I'm still not sure exactly where it's going, but I have a main character and a setting, so we'll see where it develops. If I were smart, I'd just go to bed now and wake up in six hours refreshed to write, but likely I'm gonna try to watch one of my shows instead.

Not a lot of concentration left, and nothing really profound to say. I did get a bunch of spam mail tonight from a friend, and while I deleted most of them without reading, one popped up talking about the dangers of ball pits in restaurants and how dirty/nasty/dangerous they get. There was some apocryphal story of a child that sat on a heroin needle and died of an overdose, and whether true or not just sends fear through my psyche. It's a horrifying image of your child being hurt while playing in what should be a safe place, and having been to a few of these restaurants, it's clear there's not a lot of supervision or quality control going on. It's probably just urban legend. In fact, it is: Needlepointless Tragedy. Still freaks me out. Being a parent is wearing your heart on the outside of your chest, and even the threat of your child being hurt is enough to send you into an emotional tailspin. Life is dangerous, and people get hurt and killed every single day. It's unpreventable, and we're all living in that world. Though, statistically speaking, we're all in the clear. For the most part we're all safe, except when we roll a seven and crap out.

Yes, I'm actively trying to kill myself in the month of November. I am simultaneously:

1) Re-doing the Artist's Way workbook with a couple of friends.

2) Participating in NaNoWriMo.

3) Participating in NaBloPoMo.

And on top of that, I'm running two D&D games and I'm raising two boys. And working.

Anyone want to start a pool to see how long I can do it until my head explodes?